Creating Your Ceremony...

As you prepare for your wedding, it is helpful to think about the differences between a "marriage" and a wedding.  Marriage is the day-to-day renewal of love, loyalty and commitment that two people choose to live.

A wedding is the ceremony that publicly declares their intentions to walk together - whatever may come.

 You will commit to one another in many ways over the years, some will be small private commitments found within apologies and others will be big public ones like anniversary celebrations or the birth of a child.

Choosing what you want said during this public declaration of love & commitment can be a bit daunting and that's where we come in.

I have included many of the ceremony elements on this page - but certainly not all of them.  These elements may written with a religious or spiritual tone or be entirely secular (non-religious), based on your preference. 

The "Welcome"

This is the portion of your ceremony where you welcome your guests and express your appreciation for their part in bringing the two of you together. It encourages the continued love and support of those present. Some couples choose to ask that those gathered promise to provide loving intervention should their marriage ever get in trouble.

Other couples choose to recognize and honor those who are absent, whether they are too frail to travel or are deceased, as they are still part of the circle of love that surrounds them.

The "Address"

This is where your officiant will speak about marriage. Their comments are generally focused on love, friendship, mutual trust and respect, the joys and challenges found within choosing to love someone for life. These comments are not only directed to you, the bride and groom, but as a reminder for your guests as well.

These remarks will either be chosen by you or inspired by our conversations. You will have the opportunity to read and approve or edit them before the ceremony.

Your "Vows"

Your vows are what you are promising to one another. They are what your guests want to witness, to hear and to celebrate.

Whether you choose to use traditional or contemporary vows, or to write your own vows, make sure they voice the promises you truly want to make.

Traditional vows like "With this ring, I thee wed" invokes a feeling of continuity - something that has been woven through our society for generations. Everyone recognizes and resonates to this phrase.

"I choose you, my beloved ______, to be my husband/wife. To be my partner in life and my one true love." This may not invoke quite the same automatic response but it is certainly a strong promise to make.

Your vows can be identical or different. They can be memorized, or scribbled on your hand.  They can be read either individually or in unison. But, most often couples choose to perform their vows in a "repeat after me" manner. 

You may have heard that public speaking is the #1 phobia for most people.  So, in my opinion, unless you are experienced in public speaking, memorizing and reciting your vows can be a bit challenging (Bob says "fraught with peril"). And, you will be more nervous than you anticipate on your wedding day so, the vows you thought you had memorized, may not be. The last thing you'd want to happen is to be standing there, looking into your beloved's eyes, and not be able to remember a thing... So, I'd recommend that we print vows in the ceremony book. You can borrow the book to either read from or to just have in case you need a reminder.

Prior to your wedding day, practice saying your vows out loud in front of the mirror. Practice looking up and breaking your vows into short phrases. Practice them several times because emotions will be running high and you will be nervous...

The "Exchange of Ring Vows"

This is where couples will exchange their rings and their ring vows.

The "Specialty or Sub-Ceremonies"

Any specialty or sub-ceremony, such as the Unity Candle, Sand Blending, the Wine and Letters Box, or a Rose Exchange would be inserted here, if you choose to include them. Generally if you want to include special music or a reading, it is done earlier in the ceremony although it could be done here as well.

The "Declaration of Marriage"

This is what you've been waiting for isn't it? To be pronounced husband and wife...

Remember, when you kiss after this pronouncement, it will be a photo opportunity, so be sure it is not too quick! ;-)

And then, last but not least, you have to decide if you want to be introduced to your guests before you walk out or if you want to wait to be introduced until you walk into your reception. If you decide to be introduced at the end of your ceremony, you also need to decide if you want to use Mr. & Mrs. John Doe, Mr. & Mrs. John and Jane Doe, John and Jane Doe or "our newlyweds, John & Jane"?