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Creating Your Ceremony...
As you prepare for your wedding, it is helpful to think about the differences between a "marriage" and a wedding.  Marriage is the day-to-day renewal of love, loyalty and commitment that two people choose to live.  A wedding is the ceremony that publicly declares their intentions.

I don't know who said this but I sure like it!  "To love is to come together from the pathways of our past and then move forward... hand in hand, along the uncharted roads of our future, ready to risk, to dream, and to dare..."

Your wedding ceremony is just a directional sign post along the path declaring your intention to walk together, whatever may come.
You will commit to one another in many ways over the years, some will be small private commitments found within apologies and others will be big public ones like aniversary celebrations or the birth of a child.

Choosing what you want said during this public declaration of love & commitment can be a bit daunting - that's where we come in.
I have included many of the ceremony elements on this page - but certianly not all of them.  These elements may written with a religious or spiritual tone or be entirely secular (non-religious), based on your preference. 

Just so you know - Shakespeare may sound beautiful when someone else reads it, but when I read it, it doesn't sound like it should be included in any wedding!
THE "WELCOME"

This is the portion of your ceremony where you welcome your guests and express your appreciation for their part in bringing the two of you together. It encourages the continued love and support of those present.  Some couples choose to ask that those gathered promise to provide loving intervention should their marriage ever get in trouble.

Other couples choose to recognize and honor those who are absent, whether they are to frail to travel or are deceased, as they are still part of the circle of love that surrounds them.

THE "ADDRESS"

This is where your officiant will speak about marriage. Their comments are generally focused on love, friendship, mutual trust and respect, the joys and challenges found within choosing to love someone for life. These comments are not only directed to you, the bride and groom, but as a reminder for your guests as well. 

These remarks will either be chosen by you or inspired by our conversations. You will have the opportunity to read and approve or edit them before the ceremony.

THE "VOWS"

Your vows are what you are promising to one another.  They are what your guests want to witness , to hear and to celebrate.

Whether you choose to use traditional or contemporary vows, or to write your own vows, make sure they voice the promises you truly want to make. 

Traditional vows invoke a feeling of continuity – something that has been woven through our society for generations.  “With this ring, I thee wed” brings forth an automatic response. 

“I,choose you my beloved,           ,to be my husband/wife, my partner in life and my one true love” may not invoke quite the same automatic response but it is certainly a strong promise to make.

Your vows can be identical or different, they can be memorized, read either individually or in unison from a printed copy, or repeated after your officiant. In my opinion, unless you are experienced in public speaking, memorizing and reciting your vows can be problematic.  You will be more nervous than you anticipate on your wedding day.  The vows you thought you had memorized may not be, so I’d recommend having them printed in the ceremony book. 

Prior to the wedding, practice saying your vows out loud, whether you say them to each other or just practice them alone is your choice.  Practice them several times because emotions will be running high, you will be nervous and exchanging vows is like public speaking.

THE "EXCHANGE OF RINGS VOWS" and THE "SPECIALTY CEREMONIES",  etc.

This is the time where couples will exchange their rings and ring vows. 

Any specialty or sub-ceremony, such as the unity candle, sand blending, or rose exchange, would be inserted here, if you choose to include them.  Generally, if you want to include special music or a reading, it is done earlier in the ceremony although it could be done here as well.

THE "DECLARATION OF MARRIAGE"

This is what you've been waiting for isn't it?  To be pronounced husband and wife... 

Remember, when you kiss after this pronouncement, it will be a photo opportunity, so be sure it is not too quick!

And then it is time to be introduced.  Take a moment to think about this - do you want to be introduced as  Mr. & Mrs. John Doe,   Mr. & Mrs. John & Jane Doe,    John & Jane Doe,    or Mr. & Mrs. John & Jane? 

Copyright 2005 Lori Levisen. All rights reserved.